For Better & For Ever Blog

Newsletter from For Better & For Ever ™ February 16, 2024

February 16, 2024 By Rob Ruhnke

Mike and Robin Pasch were looking for assistance so they could be married "in the Church". They searched the internet and found the For Better & For Ever ™ website. They sent me an email and we began a series of Zoom meetings that resulted in accompanying them through the process of writing a Petition for Declaration of Nullity. The result was this photo of their marriage.

Now that LENT has begun, I recommend making use of For Better & For Ever ™ to do dialogue (again) on Chapters 2,3,4,5. See especially the questions for 3 Months & 6 Months into marriage.

Also, follow links to the website > Resources for Married Couples & here is a short list of really important topics:

12 Steps for developing loving Relationships.

The Sacrament of Penance for Adults.

Creating a Plan for Wellness and Maintaining Balance.

One more thing. How about doing "Daily Dialogue" from now to Easter?

Peace and Love,

Rob

Newsletter from For Better & For Ever ™ July 2023

July 31, 2023 By Rob Ruhnke

Supper with my cousin, Dan, his wife, Linda, and two of their children, Paul and Clare, before leaving California for my new assignment in San Antonio TX. We are talking with their parish in Torrence CA about Sponsor Couple ™ ministry. Cardinal Joe Tobin, CSsR, Archbishop of Newark NJ, came to San Antonio TX to ordain Thien Michael Hoang, C.Ss.R. Cardinal Joe serves on our For Better & For Ever ™ Resource Team. I talked with him about the Roman document: "Catechumenal Pathways."

Newsletter from For Better & For Ever ™ August 2022

August 6, 2022 By Rob Ruhnke

Charley & Michelle Matt and Monica & Juan Bonilla are members of the Sponsor Couple ™ Committee of San Antonio TX

Sponsor Couple™ Training in San Bernardino CA with Mario Martinez. ZOOM training has proven so successful that we will keep when we get beyond Covid-19. > More information about ZOOM TRAINING.

Newsletter from For Better & For Ever - August 2021

August 11, 2021 By Rob Ruhnke

In spite of Covid-19, For Better & For Ever expands Internationally. Fadi Khalil and Lara Zgheib in Lebanon contacted Rob in November of 2020. After many emails and Zoom discussions, For Better & For Ever is now being translated into Arabic.

Rob says, "Couples like Fadi and Lara who have contacted me know the difficulties of trying to introduce new ideas into parishes. I am encouraged that the couples in Lebanon plan to use For Better & For Ever with newly married couples, who will then talk with their pastors about the value of the program for couples preparing for marriage. We're hoping that these newly married couples can convince their pastors that they can function as true peer-to-peer ministers among engaged couples."

Closer to home, Fr. Rob also participated in a recent Retrouvaille weekend and follow-up sessions via Zoom. He is now collaborating with Retrouvaille couples in Los Angeles so they can serve in their parishes as sponsor couples. In addition, Fadi and Lara in Lebanon are interested in providing Retrouvaille for couples in Lebanon.

Deacon Javier and Jennifer leading a convalidation class for our parish using For Better & For Ever. Some of them are already eager to serve as sponsor couples!

September 5, 2020 By Rob Ruhnke

To play the Training video > https://vimeo.com/454186356

We have succeeded!!!! The Zoom Training last Saturday for St. Matthew’s parish in San Antonio TX was the largest group we have trained using ZOOM. I can say with confidence the training by Zoom works even better than I thought it would.

When Covid-19 made it no longer possible to gather folks for an all-day face to face training, I created a plan for ZOOM training and put it on my website. This plan includes homework for couples to complete and share with their spouse BEFORE the Zoom Training > https://marriagepreparation.com/page/?pg=179

I believed doing this homework would accomplish two goals: 1 – It would give each prospective sponsor couple an experience of sharing and dialogue about their family of origin that most couples rarely take the time to do. 2 – They would know from their personal experience ~ of doing the homework ~ what they were expected to help the engaged couples to experience, namely, dialogue about their own family of origin issues and all the other topics of For Better & For Ever.

The ZOOM training with 15 couples from St. Matthew parish in San Antonio on August 29, 2020 shows what happened during the training day. Of the 15 couples in the video, most of them had no previous experience of being a sponsor couple. Because everyone had done their homework, we accomplished more in 2 hours on Zoom than I used to accomplish in a full day when I traveled to do the training face to face.

Please make sure your parish leaders are aware of the new service from For Better & For Ever. Encourage them to call me at 210-534-1129 with any questions they may have about training by Zoom. Make sure they know this a free service during the time of Covid-19 to help parishes re-establish quality marriage preparation ministry.

Peace and Love,

Rob Ruhnke

Author: For Better & For Ever

News from For Better & For Ever - May 2, 2020

May 2, 2020 By Rob Ruhnke

IT IS OFFICIAL…WE ARE TRAINING FOLKS WHILE THEY ARE STAYING AT HOME!

I received an email about 2 weeks ago from Mike and Laura in Houston who wanted to be trained to serve as a sponsor couple in their parish. They sent me an email just was I was deciding to use ZOOM to do Training of sponsor couples.

The three of us had a Zoom meeting so I could explain the information about Training that I was putting on the web site.

I got a call from them yesterday to let me know they are working their way through the Homework I put on the web site.....and they said they are impressed at "how much they are learning as they write and share the chapters on Family of Origin in For Better & For Ever." I told them this is EXACTLY what I hoped they would experience.

Since 1980, when I began flying around the country doing Training sessions, I have been trying to get couples to do this kind of HOMEWORK before I arrived for a Training day. This plan has NEVER worked well. Even getting the books in couples’ hands before the training day has rarely been successful.

Mike and Laura are doing the HOMEWORK ~ in their books ~ as the first step in the process of being Trained. This is the answer to many years of prayer. My continued prayer is that they are the first of many couples who will do this HOMEWORK at home and then register for the online Zoom Training that will be an easy “finishing up” meeting.

P.S. If you have ANY questions about this Training of sponsor couples by Zoom...call me at 210-534-1129

Peace and Love,

Rob

News from For Better & For Ever - March 2020

March 30, 2020 By Rob Ruhnke

Challenge! How can sponsor couples do their ministry when we are being directed by our civil and church leaders to “stay home” to avoid spreading Covid-19? Simple answer: go on-line! Two years ago, I celebrated the wedding of Kevin Meyers & Colleen Orth, and they went through the experience meeting with a sponsor couple. Sara & Frank are an engaged couple who wanted to use For Better & For Ever. I encouraged Kevin and Colleen to be their sponsor couple. When they started this project, none of us knew about Covid-19, but they were in 3 different cities and they decided to start having their meetings by video conference so they could deal with the approaching wedding date. They called me last week to suggest that all 6 of us (including Kevin and Colleen’s 1st born, Gabrielle) talk about the experience of doing everything On-Line. We did, and I offer 10 minutes of our video conference for you to see and hear. > http://vimeo.com/402003579

February 2020 meeting of Resource Team at the Mayan Ranch in Bandera TX. Left to right (mostly!): Charley Matt, Chuck & Carolyn Lamar, Huy Vu, Sr. Maria Flores, Tony & Heidi Battle (behind her), me, Dick Mevissen, Sharon & John Harry, Liz & Victor Bolanos, Steve Rehrauer (behind Liz & Victor). We had a great time enjoying the “horsepatality” of the Hicks family.

News from For Better & For Ever - December 2019

December 7, 2019 By Rob Ruhnke

August 12, 2019. Rob Ruhnke and Charley Matt meet with key archdiocesan leaders and their spouses, Gabe & Laura (Office of the Tribunal) Ruiz, Megan & Anastacio (Office of the Tribunal) Hinojosa, Lizett (Director for the Secretariat for Christian Community) & Fernando Farias. Now that the archdiocese is promoting the use of Sponsor Couples in the parishes of the archdiocese we wanted to make sure we are all "on the same page" in understanding the process.

When I first came to San Bernardino Mario and Paola Martinez were newly married. Now they have been hired to be the Family Life Directors for the diocese. I spend a weekend with them and their 4 children to catch up on their planning and I helped with a Training for Sponsor Couples on the Saturday.

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