The Importance of the Home Work

How to make sure it goes done!

Dear Heddy,

The single most important element of using the current edition (rather than previous editions) of For Better & For Ever ™ (En las buenas y para siempre) is to make sure the engage couple does their homework in preparation for their meetings with the priest and the Sponsor Couple. Doing the homework provides an experience of personal reflection and self-directed dialogue which are key skills couples need for living the commitment of Christian marriage.

When talking with pastors and sponsors, I refer them to the information in the books and especially page 7 which stresses the important of the couples doing their work before the meetings.

A simple but effective way to insure that the work will be done is for the pastor to instruct the couple (as it says on page 7) that they are to cover certain chapters in preparation for meeting with him. I do it this way: "Go over those chapters...read the text, answer all the questions by writing the answers in the book (that is why you have 2 books), and then share your answers with one another.....THEN call me to set up an appointment." This way, they do their work before they call me for an appointment and it is easy to confirm (during that phone call) that they have done that work....then we set a date to meet.

Sponsor Couples are advised to do the same thing. First, you talk with them (probably on the phone) and decide which chapters they are going to prepare. Then you say: "Good....go ahead and work on those chapters, and when you have done the work, then call us and we will set a time for you to come to our home for our meeting."

That way, it is clear that no meeting is scheduled until the work is done!

It works!!!

Peace and Love,

Rob

P.S. After the first Sponsor Couple ™ session, it might be assumed the engaged couple understands the importance of doing their homework in preparation for the meeting....so it may not be necessary to have them phone in before setting a date to meet after the first session..