3 - What is Sponsor Couple ® ministry?

If you have never before been part of a parish Sponsor Couple ® team, get ready for what is going to be an enriching experience for your marriage.  Most sponsor couples claim they benefit even more from the process of “sponsoring” than the couples preparing for Christian Marriage!

As a “Sponsor Couple,” you help a couple to prepare for Christian Marriage by inviting them into your home for a series of five or more meetings.  Your job is to “walk with them” them toward a realistic understanding of Christian marriage and the skills they will need to develop in order to keep working at the project of their marriage. 

You do this, not by lectures, nor by claiming that your own marriage is the model to be followed.  You invite the couple into a process of reflection and discussion by which both you and they grow to a better understanding of how to live and love as couples committed to Christian marriage. Your willingness to share your experience of the “good times” and the “challenges” of Christian marriage will be a key factor in making these meetings feel “safe” and encouraging for the engaged couple.

It is important to understand that it is NOT your job to determine whether or not the engaged couple should be married in the Church.  Your pastor will refer an engaged couple to you only after deciding that they are free to marry in the Church.  This does not mean that they are a perfect couple or that they have no issues to deal with, but it does mean the pastor has determined that they have a right to begin the journey of Christian marriage.  Ultimately their success as a married couple will depend upon the couple themselves and God’s grace.  But your efforts to help them develop realistic ideas about marriage and the skills that they will need in dealing with one another may also be another important factor in determining their future together.

Before you begin your meetings with the engaged couple, the pastor will usually direct the couple through some chapters of For Better and For Ever ®.

It is your responsibility to determine ~ with input from the couple preparing for marriage  ~ a plan for dealing with the remaining chapters of For Better and For Ever ®.  Then, when you have covered the content of For Better and For Ever ® (usually in 5 or more meetings), you send the couple back to the pastor for final paper work and the planning of the wedding ceremony.

Your responsibility as a sponsor couple is not finished on the wedding day.  Plan to “follow-up” with the couple during the first year(s) of their marriage.  There are questions in For Better and For Ever ® for the couple to answer after 3 months of marriage and after 6 months of marriage.  You will want to meet with them again at least 2 times during that first year of marriage and invite them to share with you their responses to those questions.   Face to face meetings are ideal, but meeting on Zoom or face time may work.  After that, it is up to you and to them.  Many sponsor couples develop lasting friendships with couples they have sponsored.