What if I am a Catholic who is married in civil law, but we did not get married in the Catholic church?
Glad you found this web page! The first thing I want you to know is that YOU are exactly the couple Pope Francis (and previous Popes) has been thinking about and asking all Catholics (especially us who are Catholic priests) to make sure we know how to assist you with the process of “reconnecting” with your Church.
In spite of what you may have “heard” I do not think of you as being a “lesser” Catholic. In fact, I see it as part of my priestly commitment to make sure that Catholics who think of themselves as “separated” from the Church to know they are ALWAYS part of the family. The best story is from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 15….important to start reading from verse 1: The tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to Jesus to listen to him, but the Pharisees and scribbles began to complain, saying “This man (Jesus) welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So Jesus said to them: “What man among you…..[then continue reading the stories that Jesus spoke with them and notice the last line of Chapter 15 says]… “we must celebrate and rejoice because your brother…..was lost and has been found.” At that point, the story ends….leaving us disciples to think about it for 2,000 years!
So….I say: If you are a Catholic who entered into a civil law marriage ~ but this marriage was NOT valid by the standards of the Catholic Church ~ and you want to have your marriage “validated” in the Catholic Church, I recommend you read all the information I put on this web page….and then do the following:
Make contact with your local parish or any priest you may know but may not have been in touch with for years. Face to face is always best, but Zoom may be the next best way to meet with him. Ask if he will to meet with you and your spouse to talk about all of this….and work out a plan for having your civil marriage “validated” in the Church. And ~ if you already know ~ that your spouse is NOT interested in helping with this project….that is part of what you need to talk about with the priest. You might be amazed to know that our Church has been dealing with complicated situations for hundreds of years…you are not likely to be the first person or couple in your situation!!! And ~ just in case ~ if you cannot think of a priest you feel comfortable making contact with, you can send me an email or call me at 210-557-3660.
If you talk with me, I will help you find a priest who will assist you in working out a plan. The plan will include the following:
1 - Obtain a NEWLY ISSUED AND DATED Baptismal certificate. This is NOT the original certificate that your parents may have. The reason for getting a newly issued certificate is that, when you marry in the Catholic Church, the information about your marriage is sent back to the place of your baptism and is recorded in the baptismal register. Whenever a NEWLY ISSUED COPY of the Baptismal certificate is made a special form is used which has places for the baptismal information AND ALSO information about Confirmation and Marriage that has been recorded in the baptismal record. If a person was married in the Church, this information will be included on the NEWLY ISSUED COPY. If a person was not married in the Church, the space for recording the information about the marriage will include a notation of “no information” and this is part of the “proof” that the person was not married in the Catholic Church.
This newly issued certificate has to be obtained from the parish where you were baptized. It is possible they will not mail it to you but only to a priest (this is to make sure that no one tries to alter the document).
2 – Get the civil marriage license for your first marriage. This will provide evidence about where the marriage took place and who was the official witness of the marriage (this is another part of the proof that the marriage did not take place in the Catholic Church and was not witnessed by a Catholic priest).
3 – When you have these 2 documents (perhaps the baptismal certificate will be mailed to the priest), then you set up a meeting with the pastor (or his delegate) to fill out the standard Parish Premarital Investigation form into which he will copy all of the information in these documents. He will also ask you a number of questions that you must answers under oath, to establish your freedom to marry in the Catholic Church and whether your civil marriage was previously validated in the Catholic Church. When this form is completed and the priest is confident that the answers given to the previous questions are appropriate, then he can assure you that you are indeed free to have your marriage validated in the Catholic Church. Information ~ perhaps a Certificate ~ about your marriage preparation will be included in or attached to this Form.
4 – You will be asked to provide four Witness Affidavits of Freedom to Marry to attached to this form—two witnesses for the groom and two witnesses for the bride.
5 – If you marriage is going to be validated in the parish of another diocese (maybe in another state where you grew up!), this packet of documents will be sent to the Chancery Office and the Chancery Office will process this information and (assuming it is in order) forward it to the diocese in which the validation of your marriage will be celebrated. That diocese will then forward this information to the parish which has agreed to assist you with the validation of your civil marriage. Then the parish where your marriage is validated will record your marriage in the records of that parish, forward that information back to the parish where you were baptized and provide you will a document of your marriage in the Catholic Church. [It may sound complicated, but we Catholics keep good records of important events like Baptism and Marriage!!!!]
Again, if you have any questions….email me or call me.
Peace and Love,
Fr. Rob